Support for Bereaved Children Christine Jardine (Edinburgh West)
(LD) I beg to move, That this House calls on the Government to
develop a protocol for ensuring that bereaved children are made
aware of and have access to practical and emotional support through
public and third sector agencies. I thank the Backbench Business
Committee and everyone who supported my application. I have a
jigsaw puzzle at home that my sisters recently had made for me for
a big...Request free trial
Support for Bereaved
Children
(Edinburgh West) (LD)
I beg to move,
That this House calls on the Government to develop a protocol for
ensuring that bereaved children are made aware of and have access
to practical and emotional support through public and third
sector agencies.
I thank the Backbench Business Committee and everyone who
supported my application.
I have a jigsaw puzzle at home that my sisters recently had made
for me for a big birthday. It is an old photograph of the family
at Christmas, when they were just seven and 12—it was the last
Christmas before dad died. They did not have to explain to me why
they had chosen that picture, as I knew from the moment I
unwrapped the present. There is an unspoken bond between the
three us, and with our mum when she was alive, and that bond is
understood by families all over this country.
I have an interest to declare, of course, as I am both an adult
who was bereaved as a child and the mother of a bereaved child.
Every day, more children in this country experience what we
experienced when our lives were turned upside down. The trauma of
losing a loved one—not just a parent but a loved one—is often
sudden and inexplicable. Every 20 minutes a parent dies in this
country, and around 127 children are bereaved every day, but that
figure is only for parents, and I say “only” advisedly. We do not
have figures for the number of children who lose grandparents,
siblings or friends, all of which are traumatic losses for a
young person.
(Broxtowe) (Con)
I thank the hon. Lady for securing this debate. Supporting
bereaved children is incredibly important, and the physical
presence of their loved ones is a huge part of that. My Broxtowe
constituent Aaron lost his wife Bernadette in childbirth. He did
not qualify for leave or pay due to the time he had been employed
so, while going through the heartache of losing his wife and
raising his son Tim, he had the added stress of the employment
situation he faced. No one should be in that position, so does
the hon. Lady agree that there must be a day one right to leave
and pay for those who lose a partner in childbirth, so that
children can be with their loved ones?
The circumstances the hon. Gentleman outlines are dreadful and
affect so many people in this country every day. We often do not
acknowledge the amount of practical and emotional support and
help that people need to get through this and, as he says, Aaron
should have had support and should have been able to look after
his child without having to worry about the financial
implications.
I was recently privileged to meet a group of bereaved children
who had come to Parliament while handing in a petition at Downing
Street asking for exactly what we are talking about today.
Listening to them, I could not help but be frustrated that so
little has changed in the decades since I went through what they
have experienced. Although there are support systems through
schools and wonderful charity organisations such as Winston’s
Wish, which had arranged the petition, I am told it is still the
case that, unless a family is already in touch with social
services, those services have no way of knowing about a child’s
bereavement or that a child needs support. That means that brave
children in this country must often still rely on luck and search
engines to find the help they need. It is children of all ages,
even those who might consider themselves, as I did, a young
adult, who need support through those circumstances, but at the
moment we have no official way of keeping track and matching up
children with organisations.
These organisations tell me that they know the children are out
there and need their help, but they just not know who and where
they are, or, sadly, how to get in touch with them. Child
Bereavement UK told me:
“As a service that works tirelessly to meet the needs of bereaved
children, young people and families, one of the hardest things to
hear someone say is, ‘I only wish I’d known you were there when
this happened to our family’. Services like ours at Child
Bereavement UK are there, but without knowing who and where
bereaved children and young people are, they are invisible and
the chances of them finding the practical and emotional support
they need to navigate life after bereavement are severely
diminished.”
That is a crucial point: this is about navigating life after
bereavement, and not just immediately after. For children, this
can be about more than that immediate period. My sisters and I
were lucky, as we had support around us—mum was brilliant—but
perhaps there was something more we could have had. Perhaps we
could have had more support to make it easier for us and for
her—something we did not know about—because it is tough and you
just get through the challenges as you can, and not just then. My
apologies if this seems ungrateful to anyone, but one reason why
I hope the Government are able to take this on, take it across
Departments and recognise that it is a cross-departmental issue
is that we are dealing with a lifelong challenge. It does not go
away miraculously when we hit 30, 40 or 50; I have no idea when
it will go away—if it ever does, I would be grateful. More than
one person I spoke to cautioned me, when I began to raise this
issue, that I might be opening an emotional can of worms for
myself. One group I have spoken to, Adults Bereaved as Children,
tells me that anyone who loses a parent, grandparent, sibling or
friend can be affected in ways that they do not recognise and can
be affected later in life when this comes back. I am told that
they have an increased risk of depressive symptoms and anxiety.
They also have physical health symptoms and can suffer serious
illness, have riskier health behaviours and face earlier
mortality. Educationally, we can suffer lower than average
scores. We are less likely to be employed at the age of 30 and,
sadly, we are over-represented in the criminal justice system.
Those are only the personal implications. For the NHS, there are
ongoing costs involved in dealing with people who have mental or
physical health issues as a result of not getting the support
they needed when they were a child and this coming back in later
life. We must also consider the economic impact of undermining
the contributions that so many people could make to our economy
by not making sure that they have the support they need at a
traumatic time. So the ramifications of this are huge and they
are much more than just personal.
In the past few months, I have spoken to people in the voluntary
sector, written to the Scottish Government and sat down with the
former children’s Minister, the right hon. Member for East Surrey
(). Without exception, they
have been supportive. Everyone recognises that there is a
problem, wants to help and outlines the wonderful services that
are available. However, pinning down the solution is the problem:
how do we connect these services with children who are grieving?
That is the issue that everyone seems to grapple with, but should
it really be difficult?
As I have said when we have talked about this previously, we have
debated the merits of a registry for bereaved children. In modern
society, it should not be difficult to find people who need
support, as we have registers and statistics for just about
everything. A digital society makes a lot of things easier; it is
often too easy to keep track of things. For example, my medical
records are online, as I am sure all of ours are, in order to
make it easier for the NHS anywhere in the country to know our
history if we collapse somewhere away from home. I hate to think
of exactly what information can be scanned from my passport or my
national insurance number. But if, God forbid, anything were to
happen to any of us who have children, there would be no way of
checking whether they were getting the support they needed and
whether they were okay—whether they were safe, looked after,
coping with the trauma they were going through or whether they
were perhaps just needing someone outside their immediate family
to talk to. The immediate family is vital and supportive, and
schools do a fantastic job in supporting young children, but that
may not be the ideal way of ensuring that every child gets the
right help. What happens if they move home, to a different
school? Who tells the school about this? Do they tell the school
or will they be too embarrassed? What happens if they do not want
their classmates to know just how bad they are feeling and they
need more than the school can provide? Where is the network to
ensure that they get that?
That is why today I am calling on the Government to look at how
we establish a new and necessary protocol to help a wide range of
public bodies—the NHS, local authorities and schools—to establish
where and how children who are grieving can find the support that
is right for them and perhaps put them in touch with a charity
organisation that can give them support. We need to make the
children’s carers and the children themselves feel valued and
looked after. This should be a low-cost, low-effort task to help
the charities connect with grieving families, but to help them in
this process would also have undeniable benefits for many people
in our communities. It would help them process difficult,
traumatic experiences and overcome the problems I talked about
earlier. All we need to do, and all I ask the Government to do,
is invest some time, thought and care into coming up with what
should be an administrative solution—this should not require
legislation. This might be something as simple as noting, when a
death is registered, whether a child might need support, and
identifying which Department can best administer it and the
easiest way to do it.
When I met those children who had been brought here by Winston’s
Wish to deliver the petition, it was heartbreaking to hear their
stories. I have not met anyone in this place who would not
sympathise with them and want to address the problems some of
them faced in getting support; we recognise the significance of
helping them. There is no political issue here; there is no
divide over whether or not we should be supporting our children
and our adults who perhaps did not get the support they needed
when they were younger and perhaps did not even realise they
needed it, because the advice was not there for them. We all want
to do this, so what is stopping us?
Many bereaved children will not take up the offer of support, but
sometimes even knowing that there are organisations out there to
offer it provides the safety net that their families desperately
need. They may never actually pick up the phone or send an email,
but a protocol would mean that they would know that they could
and they would know who they could phone if they wanted to. That
would be a way of making sure that we know where those children
are, that they are getting the help that they need and that they
know that we are here for them. We would be making sure that we
can reach out and offer that support to every single child—it is
the least we can do.
2.28pm
(Coventry North West)
(Lab)
I would like to start by thanking the Backbench Business
Committee for granting this debate and the hon. Member for
Edinburgh West () for sharing her own
experiences, as well as for being a voice for so many children
who feel forgotten during a difficult time.
I rise to speak because this topic is very close to my heart.
When I was at primary school, I lost my father. As for many young
people in that situation, it was a confusing time. Life changed
overnight and suddenly the relationship that I had shared with
him became a distant memory. In an effort to support our mother,
who was coming to terms with her loss, my siblings and I stepped
up and took responsibility. We essentially became adults
overnight.
Our lives at home had changed, but at school there was no
acknowledgement of our loss. There was no support or counselling,
and we were told to focus on our education and left to our own
accord. Life continued as normal, as it does for children. We
never took the time to acknowledge our grief and we never spoke
about our loss. We essentially went into survival mode, just
grateful to have each other and be a family. To be honest, I
think we essentially thought we were unaffected.
And then A-levels came. My eldest brother suddenly died and, to
be honest, I felt as though the world had been shaken. I will
never forget the day my mum called me at school to tell me. For
the first time in my life, I experienced an anxiety attack. My
brain could not decide how to react. The security, the hope and
all the certainty that I knew was gone overnight.
As the weeks went by after the death, I had to adjust to the new
responsibilities. I found myself learning about things I had
never thought I would have to learn. I had to learn about how to
bring a body back from abroad, because he had died in Peru, how
to get a death certificate translated and how to organise a
funeral. As well as that, I had the added stress of being told
that, because my school had put me in for exams, there was no way
any adjustments could be made, even though the school tried very
hard, and I had to sit those exams. I know how hard my school
tried and how much support they offered me during that difficult
time.
As the years went by, as I discussed with my siblings, I realised
that although we had thought we were unaffected, actually the
situation has had a considerable impact on our outlook on life.
It meant that we grew up with separation anxiety, difficulties
adapting to change and many other things that we did not
necessarily acknowledge at the time. I am exceptionally grateful
for having an incredibly supportive family and friends, and a
church community that was always there.
Sadly, my case is not unique. I hear many stories from my
constituents about children who are experiencing a difficult
time. Children should not have to ask for support while they are
grieving; it should be a given that they are offered our support.
Schools should have guidelines to support children. Care,
counselling and support should be given to young children.
Leaflets and clear signposting should be available so that
families know exactly where to go to get support and what
charities are available locally. GPs should be equipped with the
knowledge to support families and to identify them once they are
in that difficult situation.
We all know that grief can be difficult and can have a lasting
impact on our lives. That is why it is so important, as the hon.
Member for Edinburgh West said, that we collect data, so that we
can understand how many children in our country face the
situation every year. Then we will be able to identify the gaps
in our current services and make adjustments to the current
provision.
Lastly, we need to understand the impact of childhood bereavement
on those children as they grow older. As the hon. Member for
Edinburgh West said, research has shown that those children are
more likely to be unemployed by the age of 30, and evidence from
studies supports the various impacts that growing up with
childhood loss can have on children. It is important that those
children are not forgotten and that they are given the necessary
support to allow them to achieve their full potential, to support
our economy and to know that, because we did not give up on them,
they were able to become the best adults they could be.
2.33pm
(Strangford) (DUP)
I thank the hon. Member for Edinburgh West () for setting the scene,
and for doing so from personal experience. I also thank the hon.
Member for Coventry North West () for telling her personal
story in this Chamber. I always believe that personal stories
carry extra emphasis in illustrating what has been asked for.
As a father, I found preparing for this debate difficult, because
the natural reaction is to think about one’s own children and
grandchildren. That is the nature of these types of debates.
“Support for bereaved children” is the title of the debate and
encapsulates what we are talking about well.
I was an adult when I lost my own father in 2015, and also a
father myself, yet that pain and loss was immense. I am going to
give an illustration of someone who was bereaved as a child—I
have asked her permission, so I know I can mention her name. A
lady called Yvonne works in my office and looks after all the
questions about benefits. She does that five days a week and is
very good at her job: she is compassionate, understanding and
able to relate to people. When we were preparing for the debate,
she reminded us that she lost her mother at age nine. She
described the confusion and the loss, and the feeling that she
was lost for many years after.
It is clear from her story, and from the others we have heard
today, that the support she craved was not available. The hon.
Member for Edinburgh West said that clearly. That is why the hon.
Members participating in the debate—giving speeches, contributing
from the Front Bench and making interventions—are asking for that
support, because there was nothing available then and no help to
fill the gap through school or even the GP. The hon. Member for
Coventry North West and I share a faith, and that faith
encourages us in the times when we need it. However, the issue is
that something needs to change, because we see children facing
pain and loss. Even adults struggle to deal with it, never mind
how difficult it must be for children.
The Childhood Bereavement Network estimates that some 26,900
parents pass away each year in the UK, leaving approximately
46,300 dependent children aged between zero and 17. That gives an
idea of the magnitude of the issue and why it is so important to
debate it in the Chamber today. Although those estimates provide
an understanding of the scale of the issue, the absence of
concrete data poses significant challenges in providing those
children with the appropriate support.
The Belfast Barnardo’s child support bereavement system was set
up in 1998. It directs therapeutic support to children, young
people and their families. There are other examples of such
charities across the United Kingdom, irrespective of geographic
location, including Winston’s Wish, which helps children,
teenagers and young adults up to the age of 25 to find their feet
when their worlds are turned upside down by grief. Those
charities do a magnificent job, but they need referrals as there
is no automatic process in place for referring children to get
the help they need.
I believe there is a role for Government to play in the matter,
which is what the hon. Member for Edinburgh West is asking for. I
hope the Minister can respond to that request and give us the
encouragement we all seek—through personal experience, in the
case of the hon. Members for Edinburgh West and for Coventry
North-west; and in my case on behalf of my constituents. Those
charities do a fantastic job when people’s worlds are turned
upside down by grief.
The assumption is that if bereaved children do not need foster
care, then their families can take care of them. Unfortunately,
that does not always happen, as the hon. Members for Edinburgh
West and for Coventry North West expressed. While family are
important, it is clear that support may not always be there in
the way that is needed. Families are not always able to see the
support that a child needs when they are in the midst of their
own loss, which was exactly what the hon. Member for Coventry
North West said in her contribution. That is why I believe an
automatic referral to support must be put in place.
We all understand the current pressure on children’s mental
health services, so it is clear that the current system cannot
deal with the additional pressure. Such support must therefore
come with additional funding. Whether that is granted to
charities to provide, directly through NHS services or through
the education system, as represented by the Minister who is
responding to the debate, the fact is that grieving children need
at least to be given the option of speaking with someone without
having to request that themselves.
I always bring a Northern Ireland perspective to debates because
I like to refer to the things that we are doing. I believe that
within this great United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern
Ireland we have so much regional experience that we should be
able to swap ideas, so that other regions can take advantage of
their benefits. Back home, this is something that the education
sector is considering; there are more than 300 teachers across
Northern Ireland embarking on bereavement training to enable them
to better support students who have lost a loved one. It is a
fantastic initiative, but it needs to be rolled out further.
Hopefully, we will be able to do that in Northern Ireland.
Training will take place at seven venues across Northern Ireland
and has been designed by Marie Curie and delivered in partnership
with Cruse Bereavement Support, two magnificent charities. Marie
Curie is a charity that we all know and love, and Cruse
Bereavement Support is known back home for its fantastic work—we
love it every bit as much as Marie Curie. In my opinion, the
initiative should be rolled out to each school, so that the
education support system is in place. School can be a lonely
place for someone who is grieving; that person could be
surrounded by dozens, if not hundreds, of pupils and still be on
their own. My thanks go out not only to all those in Marie Curie
and Cruse Bereavement Support, but to the education authority,
which has been determined to make this change.
I believe that we in this House must support these children to
navigate their grief in as healthy a way as possible. It is so
important that help is given at an early stage to enable people
to get out the other side. At the minute, too many children are
lost in pain and not getting the help they need—they are unable
to seek the help they need. Let us have that support widely
available to stop these children from having to ask. In these
instances, I always think of a biblical text:
“Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.”
Our duty in this House is to ensure that children across this
great United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland can be
comforted. Support must be available. So, here in this House, I
am asking the Minister and the Government to step up and deliver
the support that is needed. Thank you so much.
Mr Deputy Speaker ( )
I call the SNP spokesperson.
2.41pm
(North Ayrshire and Arran)
(SNP)
I am delighted to participate in this debate and thank the hon.
Member for Edinburgh West ( for securing it. She and
I do not agree on many things, but I absolutely agreed with what
she said in her excellent opening speech.
Like many people who have spoken today, I wish to focus my
remarks largely on children who are bereaved by the loss of a
parent. And I, like many others here, declare an interest,
because I come to this debate having been bereaved twice as a
child, as the youngest of eight children: my father died in 1969
when I was 15 months old, and my stepfather died when I was 17
years old. Both events had a huge impact on my family. When my
father died, the eldest child in the family was 14 years old. I
am perhaps the only member of the family who has no memory of my
father. I have never even seen a photograph of him, because of
the poverty in which we were raised—photographs were a luxury,
far beyond our reach. My father was a labourer and died very
suddenly of a heart attack, while waiting for a minibus to pick
him up for his shift at Hamilton Cross, which was far from home.
I have no memory of that, but the shockwaves that went through my
family were significant.
As an immigrant, my mother had no idea of what support—financial
or otherwise— could have been available to her, so she struggled
on with no more support than her own resilience and family
allowance. I well remember my stepfather dying at home in 1985,
also of a heart attack. I was there when it happened, and it was
truly traumatic. My mother never really recovered from the shock
and she died a short five years later.
On both occasions, my family’s reaction took the lead from my
mother who, at the best of times, could never be described as a
tactile woman. The way to deal with this was to simply plough on
and get on with things. Loss was not discussed. Certainly, when
my father died in 1969, my mother, left alone with eight
children, dealt with it by making sure that everybody was shod
and fed as best they could be and looked after with the basics. I
have to say, that stiff upper lip approach to loss—I hate to use
that phrase—from when I was a child growing up has very much
shaped how I have dealt with subsequent bereavements in my own
life.
In 1974, when I was a child at school, two children at my
school—a brother and sister—were murdered. One of the children in
the family survived. The story attracted huge publicity. The
papers at the time showed that children were frightened. I
remember that, as a school, we went to the funeral service and
sang hymns. I was eight years old at the time, and remember being
very traumatised by the sight of these two little white coffins.
I cannot even begin to imagine how the surviving child felt. When
the service finished, we were all marched back to school and
immediately the workbooks were given out and we were back to our
work with nothing said. Nowadays, that would not happen. The way
that loss and bereavement is dealt with for children actually
shapes how they then go on to process grief as an adult. I think
that that is why I have dealt with grief subsequently in the way
that I have. I am not aware that it has done me any harm, but I
know that, for many children, it can be very, very destructive.
Debating and discussing how children should be supported in
managing grief really matters, and that is why this debate is so
important.
I have spoken a great deal about bereavement in this House. I
introduced the Bereavement (Pay and Leave) Bill, which asked,
very modestly, for two weeks’ paid bereavement leave for anybody
who loses a close family member. I did so because there is much
evidence that the cost of that would be offset by the benefits to
society. That Bill mattered, and it still matters even though it
did not pass. It matters because we need to look after the
bereaved. We need to support bereaved parents who have to look
after their grieving children as well as trying to cope with
their own grief. We know that how a child copes or does not cope
with grief can have a long-term impact on their own mental
health, their wider outcomes and their general wellbeing. How
Government are able to support those grieving, especially
bereaved children, alongside surviving parents really matters.
Getting it wrong—I do not know that we are getting it right—has a
huge social cost, which outweighs any economic cost. Put simply,
we cannot afford to fail bereaved children.
As we have heard from the hon. Member for Strangford (), the Childhood Bereavement Network estimates that
26,900 parents die each year in the UK, leaving approximately
46,300 dependent children aged up to 17 years of age. By age 10,
62% of Scottish children will have lost a close family member. By
the age of 16, up to 7% of children in the UK will have lost a
parent. We must remember that, when children lose a parent, there
is another parent who somehow has to navigate their own grief and
the grief of their child.
A few years back—I think it might have been in 2017—we had a
debate when the Government brought in changes to payments for
bereaved parents. I criticised that move, but it is done now. The
argument is over because the litigation has gone through, and the
changes have been made. The reason I was concerned about that
change to legislation is that those who are grieving need
support, and unless that support is adequate the social fallout
is significant, and we all pay the price for that. At the time, I
expressed real concern about the consequences of the so-called
streamlining of these payments for children, and the potential
detrimental consequences for their emotional and mental
wellbeing, as well as for their educational outcomes.
We all understand that the bereaved need time to process and
somehow come to terms with their grief. How long a person needs
to emerge from the fog of bewilderment, shock and disbelief, as
well as the pain of the grief that the loss of a loved one brings
with it, varies from person to person. We know what that is like,
but also how much worse it is for children. Cash payments for
bereaved parents are now limited to 18 months. I feel that that
means that grief has been given a sell-by date, when it is not
like that; if only it were.
When a parent has been bereaved, and left to bring up their
children on their own, we know that the surviving parent wants to
be around to support, listen and help their children to make some
sense of the irreplaceable loss that they have suffered. That is
where bereaved parents want, and ought, to be—not stuck in an
office or on a shop floor, having to put in extra hours to make
up their income shortfall due to the death of their partner, and
hoping that friends and neighbours will step in.
My fear is that the recent streamlining cuts to the bereavement
payment regime disproportionately affect women. Working-age women
are more likely to claim bereavement allowance, with recent
figures showing that most people who claim it are women. Nobody
wants or expects to claim bereavement support, but its existence
is vital for bereaved parents who are left to bring up children
with one parent missing, with all the grief and distress that
that can bring.
Some people have mentioned this in the debate, but having been an
English teacher for 23 years before I was elected I can
personally testify to the terrific and extremely sensitive
support that young people can receive in schools following the
loss of a parent or close family member. That kind of support is
essential in helping children to process and come to terms with
their loss, but it is not always available and is not always of
the same standard. I have alluded to the fact that when I was at
school, in the ’70s and ’80s, if somebody lost one of their
parents or a close family member, it was never mentioned or
discussed. That is not particularly healthy for every child.
In the early days of grief, a child will be in the fog of
disbelief and bewilderment, and the surviving parent is not
always able to help them to navigate and process that grief,
because they are suffering with their own grief and trying to
navigate their own bewilderment and loss. That is where outside
agencies such as schools, though not just schools, can provide
vital support to bereaved children, and why an appropriate level
of financial support is necessary and crucial, so that the family
unit can work through their grief with less financial pressure
interfering with that process.
Everybody in this debate understands that we need to do more to
support children who are struggling with bereavement, as well as
bereaved parents who lose a spouse, who will also struggle but
have to continue to be the responsible parent and meet their
child’s needs. They will need support with that. This debate is
extremely helpful, as too often grief and its corrosive impact
are not discussed as openly as they should be. We need to get
better at talking about dying, because death touches every family
and we all experience it.
We need to do better at supporting children through the death of
a close family member and helping them to make sense of it in a
way that is suitable for that child. If we can do that, we will
have healthier, happier and well-balanced children who in turn
will be better at supporting their own children through such
loss. That is where we need to get to as a society. We are not
there yet, and we need to get better at supporting bereaved
parents, because the bereavement that a child suffers is
inherently linked to their other parent, if it is a parent who
has been lost.
Ultimately, this is about ensuring that, despite the confusion,
trauma and bewildering impact that grief can cause children who
lose a close family member, the children affected can and will,
with support, recover and go on to live healthier, happier and
more fulfilled lives. It is really important that we have this
debate and keep on pursuing this subject, because there is a lot
of work to do here.
2.54pm
(Newcastle upon Tyne
North) (Lab)
I thank the hon. Member for Edinburgh West () for securing this
incredibly challenging debate. I know she has worked hard to
raise this issue, both here in this Chamber and prior to that in
Westminster Hall. I pay tribute to her for her work to ensure
that this matter gets the time it deserves in this place. She
made an incredibly moving opening speech.
I also thank all those who have contributed to this debate,
because it is not easy to share personal experiences and insights
on this issue. My hon. Friend the Member for Coventry North West
() made a most powerful
speech; I know it will have resonated with many people, and
sharing such a personal story will have the impact of making this
situation better for somebody else who is facing it. I pay
tribute to her for the incredible speech that she made. I also
pay tribute to the hon. Member for Strangford (), who brought his perspective and his insights into
this important issue from his many years of experience speaking
in this House.
Bereavement is an experience that is difficult for anyone, but
for a child the impact truly is profound. We know and we have
heard in this debate the experiences of how that impact can stay
with a young person for many, many years after their bereavement.
The problem is that we do not even know how many children are
currently living with bereavement across the UK. Estimated
figures from the Childhood Bereavement Network—we have already
heard them in this debate, because they are some of the only
figures we have—suggest that each year 26,900 parents die,
impacting around 46,300 children under 17. That is happening
every year.
Without any further data, we have no way of knowing how many more
might be impacted by the death of a close relative. The charity
Winston’s Wish has provided the figure that one in 29 children
are affected by the loss of a parent or sibling. That could be
one in every classroom, with schoolteachers and support staff
potentially completely unaware of that child’s loss. For that
reason, while schools may name bereavement as a key concern that
they would like more support to deal with, the support they can
give is currently limited by lack of time and lack of skills
among an already stretched school staff.
Schools need the tools to help grieving children. However,
between the pandemic and disruption to education, crumbling
infrastructure, the cost of living crisis and budget
restrictions, school staff increasingly find it a challenge to
direct their resources to addressing the issues that young people
face. It is the Government’s role to break down those barriers to
achievement, yet sometimes it feels as if the barriers are just
being built higher for some of our young people.
Teachers are not trained mental health staff, but are often
expected to fill that role, because they are often the ones who
children turn to, if they turn to anyone at all. Yet when
teachers look for support with helping that young person, too
often it is not there. We should pay tribute to teachers who go
above and beyond their role in supporting young people who they
know are suffering bereavement.
While of course young people should feel able to share with their
teachers the fact that they are struggling with personal loss,
children who are suffering from bereavement need professional
mental health support. Every child should have access to that,
but we just know that that is not currently the case. Many
schools do not have trained mental health resources, and
accessing child and adolescent mental health services can take
years before a child can even get an appointment, never mind be
seen. Far too often, children reach crisis point before any help
is found.
During that crucial part of a young person’s life, they are
missing out on education due to a lack of support and missing out
on their development. Older children may be taking on the role of
supporting their younger siblings in dealing with that
bereavement, putting to one side their own bereavement, and their
education as well. Every young person deserves the tools they
need to take advantage of the opportunities that school provides,
yet for far too many young people those essential mental health
services simply are not there.
In 2021 and 2022, patients seeking mental health treatment spent
more than 5.4 million hours waiting in A&E—waiting rather
than getting the support they need. The Government’s scrapping of
the 10-year mental health plan has left 1.6 million stuck on
waiting lists for mental health treatment. That is why Labour
recognises that the sticking-plaster approach is failing our
children badly. We must move to a preventive plan to support our
mental health services and support those who need them. That is
why Labour is committed to expanding mental health services and
staff, ensuring that everyone can receive mental health treatment
within a month of their referral. Labour is also committed to
putting a specialist mental health professional in every school,
and open-access mental health hubs for children and young people
in every community. We need those measures in place urgently to
address problems early and provide young people with a place to
discuss issues such as bereavement before they reach crisis
point.
By reforming and expanding mental health services, we can take
the pressure off teachers and allow young people to thrive again
at school. Mental health hubs will also allow young people to
seek support outside the school environment and in their
community instead. The Government may have written off a
generation of young people, with crumbling schools and public
services, but Labour will ensure that every child gets the
support they need to take advantage of opportunities both at
school and throughout their lives. That is vital because we know
that issues that affect us in childhood can affect us throughout
life. We have to go beyond expecting teachers to pick up the
pieces; we must instead expand mental health support services and
give teachers and students the support they need so they can
focus on their progress at school.
I thank the hon. Member for Edinburgh West again for securing
this important debate. I hope that the Minister will provide
clarity on how the Government will tackle this issue and when
they will recognise the importance of mental health support
reform.
3.01pm
The Minister for Schools ()
May I congratulate the hon. Member for Edinburgh West () on securing this debate
on an important subject, and on her very poignant opening speech,
informed as it was by her personal experiences? She made the
important point that children need support to navigate life after
bereavement, during and beyond the immediate period of their
loss. As she said, losing a loved one is a lifelong challenge for
a child, or indeed for any person.
The Government are committed to ensuring that bereaved children
get the help that they need. We are always looking for ways to
improve support and access to it, and to ensure that families are
aware of such help. A family bereavement is devastating for
anyone, but especially for children. Bereavement turns a child’s
life upside down and can have profound and far-reaching
consequences that may affect their mental health, their wellbeing
and their academic performance, meaning that they require
additional support.
I listened carefully to the powerful and moving speech by the
hon. Member for Coventry North West (), who I know is currently
attending a Westminster Hall debate on kinship carers. Losing her
father as a young child was clearly devastating for her. The lack
of empathetic support at school clearly compounded that hurt, but
her family, her friends and the Church were her salvation. To
lose her brother in her late teens, at the time of her A-level
exams, was clearly overwhelming for her. In those circumstances,
exam boards will use special consideration to reflect the impact
of bereavement on a candidate’s performance in exams.
The hon. Members for Coventry North West and for North Ayrshire
and Arran () mentioned the financial
consequences of losing a parent. Bereavement support payments
provide short-term financial support to working-age people with
dependent children whose spouse, civil partner or partner is
deceased. As the hon. Member for North Ayrshire and Arran pointed
out, it consists of an initial lump sum and then up to 18
instalments, with higher amounts paid for those with
children.
No one experiences grief in the same way, and children are no
different in this respect. Not all children will need access to
services when they experience bereavement, due to the support
they may receive through their family and wider community, but
where support from early help services is required, the
Government are committed to ensuring that it is provided.
The hon. Member for Strangford (), in a speech again based on personal experience,
helpfully highlighted the role of the voluntary sector. It plays
a vital role in supporting schools, children’s social care and
other services that can signpost children to support and help
them find it. We are always looking for ways to support all
children, and the support provided by Government is complemented
by the tremendous work of the voluntary sector, some of which has
been inspired by personal experience of bereavement. For
instance, I am incredibly grateful to the Childhood Bereavement
Network and Papyrus for working with us on the review of the
relationships, sex and health education statutory guidance.
Recently, the Minister for the School System and Student Finance
met Andrew Strauss to discuss the important work of the Ruth
Strauss Foundation. The foundation does valuable work in
preparing children and families for the bereavement of a parent,
particularly families with a parent who has a terminal
condition.
As the former Minister for Children, Families and Wellbeing, my
right hon. Friend the Member for East Surrey (), set out in the
Westminster Hall debate on this subject in March, there are no
official statistics on the number of bereaved children in the UK.
The Childhood Bereavement Network estimates that 26,900 parents
die each year in the UK, leaving approximately 46,000 dependent
children under the age of 17. Those figures are based on sources
such as the census and mortality statistics, in the absence of
any other data, so they are only an estimate, as Members have
pointed out. However, as the hon. Member for Edinburgh West said,
it is not just the loss of a parent; the loss of any loved one—a
sibling or a close friend, for example—can have a deep and
lasting impact on a child.
Families provide the love and support that we all know children
need, and Government are committed to supporting families,
including through the most difficult times. Early help services—a
key plank of our reforms announced in “Stable Homes, Built on
Love” earlier this year—play an important role in supporting
families, and they can be used in some cases to help children
through bereavement. Central to the Government’s ambitious plans
to reform children’s social care is family help, which will
provide effective and meaningful support for families.
Multidisciplinary teams will work with local partners to meet the
whole needs of a family.
As set out when we published “Stable Homes, Built on Love”, the
Government are providing over £45 million of additional funding
to pathfind family help and build on the strengths of existing
early help services. We recently announced Dorset, Lincolnshire
and Wolverhampton as the three local authorities that will be
involved in the first wave of the Families First for Children
pathfinder.
Our work to reform children’s social care builds on our wider
work to support families, including the £695 million Supporting
Families programme, which this year sees its 10th anniversary.
Through that programme, we have supported over 650,000 vulnerable
families through whole-family working to achieve positive and, we
hope, sustainable outcomes. The programme has put whole-family
working and early help at the heart of the local offer for
families.
Key to our strategy for supporting families is the £300 million
to establish family hubs and transform Start for Life services in
75 local authorities. Family hubs join up services locally to
improve access to services, improve the connections between
families, professionals, services and providers, and strengthen
the relationships that provide the foundation for happy and
productive lives. Family hubs will bring together services for
children from conception to adulthood, with a great Start for
Life offer at their heart. Family hubs are now opening, with the
majority having opened by the summer, and they will be delivering
all the programme’s expectations by the end of the funding period
in March 2025. We have published guidance for participating local
authorities.
As was referred to a number of times during the debate, we know
that bereavement can have a significant impact on mental health,
requiring specialist support. We are expanding specialist mental
health support by spending an additional £2.3 billion a year—we
are putting that into mental health services—by March 2024, which
will mean 345,000 more children and young people accessing mental
health support per year. We are also introducing mental health
support teams to support schools and students across the country.
Those teams offer support to children experiencing common mental
health issues such as anxiety and low mood, and facilitate
smoother access to external specialist support. As of April 2023,
mental health support teams covered 35% of pupils in schools, and
we are extending the coverage of those teams to an estimated 44%
by the end of this financial year and at least 50% by the end of
March 2025.
Schools and teachers are often a first source of support for
children in tough times, as the hon. Member for Newcastle upon
Tyne North () mentioned. I am
grateful for what they do to provide effective and sensitive
pastoral care, although it is important to remember that they
cannot be expected to provide specialist support: as she pointed
out, they are not mental health, bereavement or trauma
specialists. However, teachers know their pupils best, so they
are in a position to decide on the pastoral support that they
might need. We are offering all schools and colleges a grant to
train a senior mental health lead to help schools to put informed
support in place, drawing on specialists and working with
families where needed. More than 13,800 schools and colleges have
now received a senior mental health lead training grant,
including more than seven in 10 state-funded secondary
schools.
In addition, over 14,000 schools and colleges in England have
benefited from the wellbeing for education recovery and wellbeing
for education return programmes. Those programmes provide free,
expert training support and resources for staff dealing with
children and young people who are dealing with additional
pressures from covid-19, including a focus on supporting pupils
with bereavement. During the covid-19 pandemic, we provided a
list of resources for schools to draw on to support children’s
mental health, including the Childhood Bereavement Network, Hope
Again, and resources from the Anna Freud Centre on supporting
children dealing with loss and bereavement.
Health education—taught as part of relationships, sex and health
education—became statutory in schools in 2020, and through the
mental wellbeing topic, pupils are taught a range of content
relevant to dealing with bereavement. That includes recognising
and talking about emotions and how to judge whether what they are
feeling and how they are behaving is appropriate and
proportionate. It is important that children know where and how
to seek support, including whom in school they should speak to if
they are worried about their own mental health or someone else’s.
We also know how important regular attendance at school is for
the development and wellbeing of children and young people.
Schools should speak with pupils and families to understand what
support bereaved children will need in order to be integrated
back into school following a bereavement absence so that they can
re-engage with their education and social development.
In conclusion, I again thank the hon. Member for Edinburgh West
for continuing to draw attention to what is an important subject:
the needs of bereaved children. As we have heard, the impact of
losing a parent or close family member is profound. The
Government remain committed to supporting families in difficult
times in a number of ways, including those I have set out today.
Grief and loss are deeply personal, and where additional support
is needed, I pay tribute to the organisations and individuals who
provide that support to bereaved children and their families.
3.13pm
I thank the Minister for his comments, and I thank everyone who
has stayed late today to take part in the debate. The powerful
speeches from the hon. Members for Coventry North West (), for North Ayrshire and
Arran () and for Strangford
() all had one thing in common: they all reflected my
own experience, as well as each other’s experiences. I find that
we have confidence that support is there and is available, but
our fear is that the people who need it do not know, and it is
not reaching them.
I thank the Minister for his commitment to making sure that
children get that support, that the services are there and that
the Government are investing in them. I only ask that the
Government continue to listen to survivors such as ourselves when
we highlight what is perhaps missing—the co-ordination that is
needed—so that we can continue to improve the support for
children and young people that I am sure the Minister, and all of
us, want to provide. I thank everyone for taking part today.
Question put and agreed to.
Resolved, That this House calls on the Government to develop a
protocol for ensuring that bereaved children are made aware of
and have access to practical and emotional support through public
and third sector agencies.
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